Heavyset-Mixed-Race-Marxist and Scot
Name: Elias Whitelaw
Birthday: 17/01/1995
Occupation: Student
Nationality: Scottish

You wanna see more drugs in sport? I wanna see a lot more drugs in sport. You want to see someone run the 100 meters in 9.98 seconds or do you want to see them run it in 3 seconds?

I don’t wanna see Dwain Chambers running on steroids, I wanna see him running with the legs of a kangaroo and the heart of a fucking leopard! I wanna see him run so fast that half way through the race he disappears like the car from ‘Back to the Future’, reappears at the finish line as a very old man, shouts “Beware China!” and then crumbles into fucking dust!

- Frankie Boyle

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